More jokes!

It is easy to tell which hurts more out of giving birth and getting kicked in the balls. I have never met a man 9 months later go I want to get kicked in the balls again.

The world is a dangerous place; only yesterday I went into Boots and punched someone in the face

Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.

My dad is Irish and my mum is Iranian, which meant that we spent most of our family holidays in Customs.

If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that.

Two snowmen were stood in a field, one turned to the other ans said "can you smell carrots?"

Disabled toilets. Ironically, the only toilets big enough to
run around in.

I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick
pocketed.
How could anyone stoop so low?

I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing
on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet.
I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"

I rear ended a car this morning...the driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!
He looked up at me and said "I am NOT Happy!"
So I said, "Well, which one ARE you then?"
That's how the fight started.

Fuck me! If anymore planes crash they will have to change the green cross code to.

Look Left
Look Right
Look Up.

Went into a Welcome Break Services this morning.
I went to the counter with a sausage roll and a bag of crisps.
I said to the woman on the till, 'Sorry, I've only got a £20 note.'
She replied, 'That's okay love, just put the crisps back.'
Robbing cunts.

When I recently heard comedian Al Murray being described as, 'About as funny as AIDS', I had to disagree.
I don't think he's very funny at all.

Statistically... 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

When a man ejaculates, he comes at twenty miles per hour.
Which means it's perfectly safe to hit a child.

When Andy Murry went to Ikea to buy a trophy cabinet the person at the till said, "Fuck off, you'll only bring it back."

(LLLOOOOLLL Sickipedia (last one was my brothers))

LOL

I'm sorry but I find Chris funnier than you Rob.