Girl FAQ

<blockquote>1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say “could be better.”
This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.
2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness.
If she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really hard until she cries (this
will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are).
3. Once a month, sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls
are like dogs; they love to be roughed up.
4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she’s sleeping. If
she is, say “you better be.” Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will
show her you care.
5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be
her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and
every girl needs some improvement.
6. Recognize the small things, as they usually mean the most. Then
when she’s sleeping, steal all her small things and break them, because
jewelry is for wussies and Asian ladies.
7. If you’re talking to another girl, make sure she’s looking. When
she is, stare into her eyes, mouth the words “**** you” and grab the other
girl’s ass. Girls love competition.
8. Tell her you’re taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she
thinks it’s going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard.
When she starts to get upset, tell her you were just kidding and now you’re
really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she
starts crying and asks why you would do something like that, lean over and
whisper very quietly into her ear “…because I can.”
9. Introduce her to your friends as “some chick.” Women love those
special nicknames.
10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.
11. Warm her up when she’s cold…and not by giving her your jacket,
because then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say
“if you don’t stop bitching about the cold right now, you’re going to be
bitching about a black eye.” The best way to get warm is with fear.
12. Take her to a party. When you get there, she’ll have to go to the
bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the
party is dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you all
night.
13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet.
Kick the pet. Guys always find stuff like that funny…why shouldn’t girls?
14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she’s fast asleep, wait 10
minutes, then jump up and scream in her ear. Repeat until she goes
home and you can use your arms for more important things (like basketball).
15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.
16. If you care about her, never ever tell her. This will only give
her self-confidence, then you can never turn her into the object she deep
down desires to be.
17. Every time you’re in her house, steal one of her shoes, earrings
or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This
way, she’ll go crazy.
18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she’s about to order, interrupt
and say “no, she’s not hungry.” Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy
that speaks for her.
19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then punch her in the face. Girls
love a spontaneous guy.
20. Give her one of your t-shirts, and make sure it has your smell on
it (but not a sexy cologne smell…a bad smell. You know what I’m talking
about).
21. When it’s raining, keep asking her if she’s crying. She’ll say
“no, it’s just the rain.” Ten minutes later, turn to her and just scream at
her to stop crying. Girls like a tough man.
22. Titty twisters and plenty of them.
23. If you’re listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her
no. This way she’ll think you’re mysterious.
24. Remember her birthday, but don’t get her anything. Teach her that
material objects arent important. The only thing that’s important is
that she keeps you happy, and your happiness is the greatest present she
can ever get.
25. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas or just
whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then, next time you know
she’s coming over on a trash day, leave the trash can open and have the
present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don’t like this one
that much, but guys think it’s funny.
26. If she’s mad at you for not calling her when you say you will,
promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will
make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call that you’re
going to tell her a special surprise. Now she’ll be really excited. Don’t
call.

Wonder how long it'll take before this is moved into R/S ?
</blockquote>

ROB, that is really bad advice sorry...

My advice:

Be nice, honest and most important BE YOURSELF, and you will get there. If she doesn't like you when you are yourself, then don't force her or yourself to like each other...

BlastedS wrote:ROB, that is really bad advice sorry...

Really?
It's always worked for me.

WildGryphon wrote:

BlastedS wrote:ROB, that is really bad advice sorry...

Really?
It's always worked for me.

yea i live by these rules!

never failed once!

Solent wrote:
7. If you’re talking to another girl, make sure she’s looking. When
she is, stare into her eyes, mouth the words “**** you” and grab the other
girl’s ass. Girls love competition.

Um i don't think that will work... If anything most of the above will get you slapped and a knee to the balls

All ur advices are about humiliating or ignoring the girls... we really need a girls input on this, coz i am really sure girls don't like it...

BlastedS wrote:All ur advices are about humiliating or ignoring the girls... we really need a girls input on this, coz i am really sure girls don't like it...

I'm sure any girl here on the forums would have to agree this is their ideal man!

Solent wrote:

BlastedS wrote:All ur advices are about humiliating or ignoring the girls... we really need a girls input on this, coz i am really sure girls don't like it...

I'm sure any girl here on the forums would have to agree this is their ideal man!

Lol than evrey girl except rach, coz i did NONE of those imo rude things, and she just fell for me dunno how i did it, now i think about it... well actually i do, i just was and am myself around her.

rach might have fallen quicker if you'd implies this?!?

What's a girl?

The civilised half of society

Solent wrote:rach might have fallen quicker if you'd implies this?!?

Lol no not really, she wouldv either blocked or bitch slapped me... i mean what guy kisses another girl because girls love the competition oO

dude i hope you know this is a joke

Tarik wrote:dude i hope you know this is a joke

It's a joke?

tarik, now now, i was being deadly serious!

Marv I really hope you know that those are all fool-proof and you'll be getting all sexed up in no-time if you use em.

If you had used these on Rach she'd have legged it to The Neths with no clothes on and molested you.....

then she'd proceed to make a lesbian movie just for you.

You should try these, seriously, completely fool proof.

one word


YES!

Hey I'm a girl ( i think...jk)

I thought some of those were pretty funny, other i thought were really mean.

I agree with Mozillo when he said that that would probably get you kneed in the balls.

Actually, i agree with all of you, apart from Rob and Kev and Mark

Even me ^^^?

there we go, i think my editing changed the meaning of the end. it just ended before the, "apart from..." bit

you know you love this secretly jen XD

BTW i gave a big clue away at the bottom of the original post

I GOT EDITED! NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!

Give them the gift that's strong enough for a man, but made for a woman: the back of your hand.

kk i've moved it to R/S like i said it eventually would.

That whole list is a joke by the way!

Basically one big sexist joke XD

Like what do you do if your dishwasher stops working?
Slap her and tell her to get back to work.

That was a joke btw, just to be sure.

What did God say when he made man?
"I can do better than this."