The /b/tard way

The /b/tard way

Introduction
This section will give you the full instruction on how to become a /b/tard and stop being everyone's joke, stop being a god damn newfag.
This may be hard, this may be easy, it's up to you to be or to not be cool (in the internet, of course).

The basic
There are some basic stuff you need to know...
I won't start listing them all, but I'll tell you about some of them.
Let's start with something really important.


The places
/b/, the best place in the world [img.4chan.org/b/imgboard.html]
4chan, where /b/ and other sources of lulz are located [www.4chan.org]
Encyclopaedia Dramatica, the database of /b/ [www.encyclopediadramatica.com]
Don't copy and paste them, write them all over.




The rules of the internet
1. Do not talk about /b/
2. DO NOT talk about /b/
3. We are Anonymous
4. Anonymous is legion
5. Anonymous never forgives
6. Anonymous can be horrible, senseless, uncaring monster
7. Anonymous is still able to deliver
8. There are no real rules about posting
9. There are no real rules about moderation either - enjoy your ban
10. If you enjoy any rival sites - DON'T
11. You must have pictures to prove your statement
12. Lurk moar- it's never enough
13. Nothing is Sacred.
14. Do not argue with a troll - it means that they win
15. The more beautiful and pure a thing is - the more satisfying it is to corrupt it
16. There are NO girls on the internet
17. A cat is fine too
18. One cat leads to another
19. Another cat leads to zippo cat
20. It is delicious cake. You must eat it
21. It is delicious trap. You must hit it
22. /b/ sucks today
23. Cock goes in here
24. You will never have sex
25. ????
26. PROFIT
27. It needs more Desu. No exceptions.
28. There will always be more fucked up shit than you just saw
29. You can not divide by zero (just because the calculator says so)
30. No real limits of any kind apply here - not even the sky
31. CAPSLOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL
32. EVEN WITH CRUISE CONTROL YOU STILL HAVE TO STEER
33. Desu isn't funny. Seriously guys. It's worse than Chuck Norris jokes
34. There is porn of it, no exceptions.
35. If no porn is found of it, it will be created.
36. No matter what it is, it is somebody's fetish. No exceptions.
37. Even one positive comment about Japanese things can make you a weeaboo.
38. When one sees a lion, one must get into the car
39. There is furry porn of it. No exceptions.
40. The pool is always closed due to AIDS
41. If there isn't enough just ask for Moar.
42. Everything has been cracked and pirated
43. DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS
44. The internet is not your personal army.
45. There are 45 rules.
46. Rule 45 is a lie.
47. The cake is a lie.

This is like your Bible. Or even better, this IS your Bible.

Let's talk about each one.

Rules 1 & 2
1. Do not talk about /b/
2. DO NOT talk about /b/

ONLY APPLY TO RAIDS

/b/, obviously, is the most fun place in the earth.
If you want to learn more about it, you have 2 places to go:
/b/ it self.
Or Encyclopaedia Dramatica.

Rules 3 & 4 & 5 & 6 & 7
3. We are Anonymous
4. Anonymous is legion
5. Anonymous never forgives
6. Anonymous can be horrible, senseless, uncaring monster
7. Anonymous is still able to deliver

I know that you have been wondering who is Anonymous.
Anonymous is everyone that goes to /b/.
Since you don't need to register, and at least 100 years go, /b/ had a 'name' option in which, if you didn't write anything in it, it displayed 'Anonymous' as a default name.
If you want to know moar, just lurk.

A tripfag, or also called namefag, is a fag who, in the other sections of 4chan(not /b/), calls himself by a name, unlike the rest of us that we remain anonymous. Those people are usually camwhores or just fags.
The name trip derives from the use of Tripcodes to store the name.

Rules 8 & 9
8. There are no real rules about posting
9. There are no real rules about moderation either - enjoy your ban

There are no rules, you can post anything you want, and if you get banned, sucks to be you.

Rule 10
10. If you enjoy any rival sites - DON'T

Self-explanatory.

Rule 11
11. You must have pictures to prove your statement

Pics or it didn't happen.

Rule 12
12. Lurk moar- it's never enough

Lurk moar is the /b/ way to say 'keep looking'.
The dictionary.com says: Quote:
lurk (lûrk)
intr.v. lurked, lurk·ing, lurks
To lie in wait, as in ambush.
To move furtively; sneak.
To exist unobserved or unsuspected: danger lurking around every bend.
To read but not contribute to the discussion in a newsgroup, chatroom, or other online forum.


Some fags will say that it's from Starcraft, but those are just newfags.
And well, moar is the corrupted version of 'more'.

Rule 13
13. Nothing is Sacred.

See 10.

Rule 14
14. Do not argue with a troll - it means that they win

A troll... there are different types of trolls, and I don't feel like explaining it to you, so just read this shit.
1. A person who brings life to a tired, dull internet message board by purposeful attempts to start flame wars or Internet drama by posting comments that are patently Fucktarded, yet still inflammatory enough to enrage the stupid, irrational and humorless. The moment someone points out that the troll in question was just gunning for a reaction usually results in a fire drill. For a more in-depth example of trolling, click here.
2. A person that throws around the troll insult to: anyone who defeats them in an argument, anyone who points out facts the real troll doesn't want people to know, or someone the real troll picks at random to stick falsely with a troll label for sheer lulz. This second type of troll is 98.9999999% of all trolls now and is often called an Anti-troll.
3. A person affiliated with the group Bantown, commonly known for their lulz. GNAA IS DEAD, JEWS KILLED GNAA. Penis Pump are the trolls of the future.
4. A Fat middle aged man or Russian Woman who lives under a bridge
5. A Concerned Mother who does not appreciate how other trolls are treating their little kids who don't belong on the interwebz in the first place.
6. People who edit Encyclopedia Dramatica.
7. Anyone who disagrees with a Wikipedia administrator.


Rule 15
15. The more beautiful and pure a thing is - the more satisfying it is to corrupt it

See 13.

Rule 16
16. There are NO girls on the internet

No exceptions.

Rules 17 & 18 & 19
17. A cat is fine too
18. One cat leads to another
19. Another cat leads to zippo cat

Self-explanatory, if you want to learn more, go to ED.
Let me resume it for you.
If you can't get a girl, a cat is fine too.
One cat leads to another one (longcat).
Another cat leads to zippo cat (Self-explanatory if you know what Zippo is)

Rule 20
20. It is delicious cake. You must eat it

Delicious cake... the point of your existence is to eat it.
For more info about this, play the game Portal, or also, it's flash version in newsground [here], and if you are smart enough, you will reach the moist delicious cake

Rule 21
21. It is delicious trap. You must hit it

A trap is a girl who has a penis (a.k.a. dickgirl).
A common meme is 'IT'S A TRAP', with the picture of Admiral Ackbar.

Rule 22
22. /b/ sucks today

And that's a fact.

Rule 23
23. Cock goes in here

Cock goes in cunt, what else can I say?

Rule 24
24. You will never have sex

Never.

Rules 25 & 26
25. ????
26. PROFIT

A common meme used in /b/, that is from South Park (if you wanna know the history, you know the place where you can find it). ???? is the process in which you make PROFITS.
ALWAYS put them together, or else people will think that you are a newfag, something that we are trying to change if you are reading this guide.

Rule 27
27. It needs more Desu. No exceptions.

DESU originated with a Rozen Maiden character, that always ended her sentences with the word "DESU". It's now used as a replacement for SPAM. Use it wisely.

Rule 28
28. There will always be more fucked up shit than you just saw

Shit keeps coming everyday.

Rule 29
29. You can not divide by zero (just because the calculator says so)

If you divide that will lead to a time paradox or portals.

Rule 30
30. No real limits of any kind apply here - not even the sky

Not even the sky...

Rules 31 & 32
31. CAPSLOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL
32. EVEN WITH CRUISE CONTROL YOU STILL HAVE TO STEER

ALL CAPSLOCK IS FUCKING COOL.

Rule 33
33. Desu isn't funny. Seriously guys. It's worse than Chuck Norris jokes

Use it wisely.

Rule 34 & 35
34. There is porn of it, no exceptions.
35. If no porn is found of it, it will be created.

'nuff said.

Rule 36
36. No matter what it is, it is somebody's fetish. No exceptions.

*fap* *fap* fap*

Rule 37
37. Even one positive comment about Japanese things can make you a weeaboo.

Anonymous does not forgive.

Rule 38
38. When one sees a lion, one must get into the car

OH SHI-
GET IN THE CAR!

Rule 39
39. There is furry porn of it. No exceptions.

See furry for more info about this. Don't like saying that kind of things.

Rule 40
40. The pool is always closed due to AIDS

See The Great Habbo Raid of July 2006 for more info about this one.

Rule 41
41. If there isn't enough just ask for Moar.

'nuff said.

Rule 42
42. Everything has been cracked and pirated

a.k.a. warez

Rule 43
43. DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS

A common meme used in 4chan. Directly from ED (if you don't get it, fuck you). Quote:
* User A makes an overly serious and lengthy post under the username Sephiroth1337.
* User B, rather than replying with "tl;dr", changes his username to Sephiroth1337.
* User B replies to User A with "DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS", under User A's alias. This makes it appear to those too retarded to figure out what's going on that User A has just admitted to being a cocksucker.


It would be like someone with my username (SirGodlike) makes a post in this thread saying 'DISREGARD THAT(this long guide), I SUCK COCKS(im a cock sucker)'<--The parenthesis doesn't count, I was your explaining you.
And after that post, I became a cock sucker.

Rule 44
44. The internet is not your personal army.

Also used in /b/, but instead of 'The internet', '/b/' is used.

Rules 45 & 46
45. There are 45 rules.
46. Rule 45 is a lie.

Self-explanatory.

Rule 47
47. The cake is a lie.

It's a lie.

DAMN THATS A BIG LIST!

WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THIS, SO BIG< HOW LONG DID YOU WRITE THIS ???

WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THIS, SO BIG< HOW LONG DID YOU WRITE THIS ???

I dont understand the point of this post.

Kamatari wrote:I dont understand the point of this post.

I dont understand the point of this post.

Lol he just OWNED you.

Only out by a year...

0_0 i went to see what this fabled /b/ was one day, My eyes and brain will never be the same....

speaking of those rules and personal calculations i'm going to have to disagree with rule "29. You can not divide by zero"

I have done it, using graphs and induction and assumptions so suck on that science.

Universe 3*10^1998792383978 : Sean 1

uh... but to divide by nothing... simply would mean that the something is destroyed, thus going against the laws of physics due to matter not being created or destroyed... unless dividing by 0 brings in a whole load of anti-matter... which it doesn't due to anti-matter not being able to exsist because within seconds it would be gone... unless in a vacuum.
Chris: 1

Actually chris by my calculations quite the opposite will infact happen

If any of you reproduce anything i'm about to tell you as your own I will go to england(or other specific country),
find you and kill you... even if my theory is wrong.

this is the graph 1/x when at x=0 the graph tends to infinity



So as you can see as you are dividing by smaller and smaller numbers the answer starts to reach infinity, by the graph, it can therefore be assumed that when it reaches division by zero that the graph will be at inifinty.

It can be assumed then that 1/0=∞

But wait if you notice at the bottom of the graph, the graph then starts to increase again from -∞, which means that at the point when x=0 the graph in one line goes all the way from +∞ to -∞.

It is therefore my assumption that if a graph goes from +∞ to -∞ at a single point then it must pass through all the points along the way. Assuming this we can then take any value for 1/0, which means that 1/0 = everything from +∞ to -∞.

so that means that x/0, x meaning any number, = every/any number

Therefore the division by zero would not destroy an object, infact it would create matter/energy/numbers from it

meaning that if you divided a cup by zero, you could make an infinite number of apples or tables or buildings etc.

If you want proof of this by induction for all you nerds out there i could scan it in, that's if i can make an equation that looks plausible.

Yeah, again, due to that and there being no defining quantity OF it... it does not work... In theory... but again, it is once again against the laws of physics... due to matter not being able to be created or destroyed... but then it can only be created via two protons (most likely AT the speed of light) collide creating matter but at the same time creating anti matter... perhaps of equal amounts thus destroying the newly created matter... which is to suggest, that if dividing by 0 is some form of particle colider... all the created cups would there by be destroyed. And besides... to be honest, I think a Tangent Graph is a better example of reaching infinity, but then, it is not exactly 0. Hmm, I swear there was another graph which I'd come across...
But it is impossible to divide by 0... due to it being wholey illogical... and such...

Lol all my teachers say that you just CANT divide by zero. Stpd teachers holding in information again, EVEN in advanced classes..... I hate when these teachers hold in all of this information.

Teachers aren't advanced mathmaticians... they have NO idea why exactly (no one really does... maybe) you just can't... it is widely thought that to successfully do so, would cause the world to start to fold in...

Hey Sean, no fair cuz they don't know calculus yet... Even though limits are super easy.

Besides, I think the limit of 1/x as x-> 0 is DNE.

The reason you cannot divide by 0 is due to it being dividing by nothing, the human mind cannot comprehend the concept OF nothing, like NOTHING at all... (don't say Vacuum, still something cause the second you think of that it is something thus meaning it isn't nothing)

(any number)/0=you've made a mistake in your calcs

at least that'd the basis of engineering

Indeed, /0 is how you can make 2 = 1 or something like that, or 1+1=1 due to it being silly...

Mozillo wrote:Indeed, /0 is how you can make 2 = 1 or something like that, or 1+1=1 due to it being silly...

don't be silly, everyone knows 1+1= a window D=

and 2+2 = Fish...

Yeah, my calc teacher said that if you get x/0 in a limit, then you have to do more work, such as simplifying the problem.

I dont know why people try to disprove this with calculators and such, you do realise calculators can only do what they are programmed to do. The reason why they are undefined are because no one put an answer in for that equation. If i could build a calculator that has the input 1/0 = 5138008 would you believe it cause a calculator told you that was the answer? Doubtful right?
Calculators are machines, they dont make mistakes (yet) but the people who program them can....

Also dont say you cant do something because everyone has to you so your whole life, that kind of thinking will get you nowhere.

btw chris division by zero doesnt make things silly, just the people who write the equations leaving out things. Division by zero cant make 2=1 but it can make 2/0=1/0

impressed you do limits already beth, i only learnt that last year haha, good old english education eh

i understand where you're coming from sean, it's just as you say though, if you do a long calculation and end up with a figure over zero, you know that you've effed it up because by the laws of physics (as chris said) you can't create energy.

Maybe it applies to areas where physics breaks down, like black holes, i dunno, something to study for sure XD

Solent wrote:impressed you do limits already beth, i only learnt that last year haha, good old english education eh

i understand where you're coming from sean, it's just as you say though, if you do a long calculation and end up with a figure over zero, you know that you've effed it up because by the laws of physics (as chris said) you can't create energy.

Maybe it applies to areas where physics breaks down, like black holes, i dunno, something to study for sure XD

0_0 you started limits when you were 19? i started them when i was 16, they're easy anyway. You say it only applies in areas where physics breaks down and I think you may be on to something, If you've ever heard of zero point energy, it kind of explains that in nothingness there is something. Like if you were to get a complete and total vacuum and take out all the energy down to absolute zero where there is supposedly or should be no energy left and matter is basically destroyed, you should theoretically find that you can keep taking out energy... inifinte energy i.e. energy from nothing. It's been a while since I read a book on it but i think thats how it goes.


These arent just some wild theories that struck my mind over night that I've decided to rant about, I've thought about these and looked stuff up, which is more than I can say for most people who try to disprove me without a thought because "Calculator said so" or "Teacher said so" or "Noone has done it before so it obviously cant be done" 0_o